


Driving a Beach Ball

by mattsd454



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Humor, Mako - Freeform, Other, Therum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8046607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattsd454/pseuds/mattsd454
Summary: Shepard hates driving the Mako.





	Driving a Beach Ball

Prompt: "first mistakes"

Shepard’s heart fell out of his chest as the Normandy released the Mako. The vehicle sailed toward Therum like a fastball thrown by last year’s Cy Young award winner. “Hate this part,” Shepard muttered, as he watched numbers on the altimeter race toward zero. 

“You do know how to land this thing,” Garrus said. 

Shepard chuckled. “Technically, no. Because I don’t land it.” He grinned. Garrus’ eyes widened as the horizon came up and the Mako slammed into the ground, skipping across a wide plain that Joker had chosen for their landing zone. Shepard gave the mass effect fields a glance to make sure they showed green before he said, “Whoo! Just like a roller coaster!” 

Ash grinned. Garrus rolled his eyes at his maniac human teammates. The Mako’s stabilizer kicked in and the Mako settled to a stop.

Shepard checked the map while Ash and Garrus manned the weapons. “Liara’s dig site is about fifty klicks out. The terrain’s pretty uneven.” Shepard sighed. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“On what, skipper?” Ash asked.

“Just... keep your belts on.”

“Terrain doesn’t look that bad,” Garrus said. 

“Have you ever ridden in a Mako before?” Shepard asked. Garrus shook his head. “The landing’s the easy part.”

Shepard hit the gas and the Mako started rolling. It lifted off from a low hill and sailed about twenty meters before it came back down. Garrus laughed. Shepard felt himself sweating inside his armor. Another hill was coming up with a funny twist of rocks ahead of it...

Shepard hit the thrusters to try to sail over the reaching fingers of stone. He timed it wrong and the Mako’s front end clipped the rocks, aiming the tank head-on for the ground. Everyone swore in their favorite language as the Mako crashed into the hill. Seat belts bruised Shepard’s shoulders and inertial fields made it hard to breathe for a moment. Now the insult after the injury: because of its mass effect fields, the Mako kept bouncing instead of just stopping face-first in the ground. 

Shepard didn’t count how many times they bounced, but when it was over, they landed upside-down. 

“Ay carumba,” Ash moaned. 

“Haven’t you driven one of these before?” Garrus asked. 

“Yes. And it happens every fucking time,” Shepard growled. He punched the ceiling. 

The radio crackled. “I win the pool!” Joker said. “Do you guys need a lift?”

“No, we don’t need a goddamned lift,” Shepard said. He glanced over his shoulder. “Ash, point the main gun into the ground and fire a round of high explosive.”

The blast from the explosion heaved the tank over again. It rocked far enough that it nearly tipped onto its other side. Shepard swore again, tapping the gas and working the steering to keep them upright. 

The Mako settled to a stop. Shepard dropped his head onto the steering controls. “All right. Let’s try this again.”

Ash and Garrus both tightened their belts.


End file.
